7/14/85

Dear ----

Thank you for your response to my May 25 "Open Letter" to those involved with Da Free John ("DFJ"). The intelligence and sincerity expressed in your letter make me feel that the effort I've put out to try to communicate with people was worth it. I will try to answer the questions you have raised, one by one, as completely as possible. The reason I didn!t go into greater detail about DFJ's behavior in my original letter is that I felt it would be overly inflammatory and would make people so defensive that they wouldn't listen to the other issues I presented. Besides, many of these things, but not all, have come out in the media anyway (see the newspaper articles I sent. Did you see the Today show?)

Ql. Can you list specific incidents that would show DFJ is not an enlightened Spiritual Master?

A. Some people assume DFJ is enlightened primarily because of his spiritual experiences and "transcendence" of them alleged in his books. However, the essence of his experiences and teachings have appeared elsewhere and could easily have been borrowed by him and refined into his own style. Or, perhaps realization of these truths and experiences are not the equivalent of enlightenment in the true sense.

To me, actions speak louder than words. I will list below a number of events or facts, every one of which I either observed first hand, or which have been shared with me, in the recent past, by first hand participants or witnesses (most are in the second category). NONE of these items are mere heresay:

1) One woman, D., had been sexually abused as a child, and thus had sexual anxieties. In front of others, DFJ forced her to perform oral sex on a line of three men, who had been ordered to stand up and pull their pants off. While feeling hysterical and full of duress, D. was then ordered by DFJ to have sex with him. To this day, she is still upset about this.

2) DFJ pulled a large chunk of hair from the head of his wife, Nina, during a fight. The same day, he also threw her down a flight of stairs, causing bruising and injury.

3) DFJ also hit Lynn Closser, causing bruises all over her face.

4) DFJ injured Bonnie Bevan's (one of his wives) neck in a fight with her, causing her to seek medical treatment. Brian O'Mahony was shocked by this and DFJ had to spend extra time with him mythologizing the incident. This occurred in Fiji.

5) DFJ has had sex with over 200 women since beginning teaching. Many of these were married to others at the time. Some were teenagers who had come seeking spiritual truth. This is common knowledge, but not everyone knows it has continued into the 80's. He has given herpes to a number of these women, knowingly (actually quite a few). He gave it to a very close friend of mine when she was still a teenager, and he told her it was "prasad" (a divine gift) from the Guru to help her work out her bad cunt karma."

6) DFJ has on numerous occasions married or divorced various couples according to his own whims. At one time he broke up close to 50 couples so the women could be "tried out" by him and his close buddies to see who would become DFJ's "wives".

7) DFJ has demanded of some of his close devotees that they urinate or defecate on their sexual partners, or perform anal sex. He has forced members to participate in group sex and pornographic movies to suit his every voyeuristic interest or to actually participate, depending on the occasion. In one such group sex incident, with Jones directing, a woman had a dildo thrust into her with such force as to cause her internal damage. As a result she had to seek medical treatment. This happened to a friend of mine who was married to one of DFJ's key disciples.

8) DFJ had a number of people stand in a circle around a woman who was lying naked on the ground, "wearing" nothing but a tampon. At his repeated direction, a man was ordered to remove the tampon from her. Then, as the tampon was held up in front of the group, he laughed and shouted "she's pure, there's nothing on it!"

9) In Fiji, DFJ noticed that one woman had bruises on her face. He therefore asked her husband, "Do you enjoy beating your wife?" The husband responded, "well--as a matter of fact I do." DFJ said "whatever turns you on..."

10) DFJ in Lake County hit one of his devotees and broke his own hand. He therefore had to go to Redbud Hospital and have a cast put on his hand.

11) DFJ has demanded that devotees observe a strict vegetarian diet and that they abstain from alcohol, drugs, and cigarettes, asserting that this was also his own personal practice. During a few historical periods, and on a few occasions per year, these rules were lifted. However, DFJ has indulged in sustained drug usage, excessive alcohol consumption, cigarette smoking, meat and junk food eating over the years. At times he observed periods of austerity in between periods of indulgence, but over fifty percent of the time his organization has existed he has been indulging. This has continued into the 80's, secretly and hidden from all but a few. Sometimes, DFJ would secretly bring over an entire cake to his room to binge on during "austere" periods when even most of his close disciples thought he was maintaining a severely disciplined diet. His large belly is explained as bulging due to the huge amount of "life force" in his body.

12) While publicly denouncing drug usage, DFJ personally used and directed others to use illegal drugs such as marijuana, hashish, peyote, psilocybin, other exotic hallucinogens, nitrous oxide, and especially, amyl nitrate ("Rush"). This continued into the 80's. DFJ's personal use of Rush to intensify orgasm is particularly interesting in light of the fact that he claims to have mastered tantric yoga and the conservation of orgasm, and teaches that practice. If DFJ has'a fully awakened kundalini, why does he continue to need all these drugs, especially Rush?

13) DFJ spends tax-exempt money on extravagances to suit his every whim. He lives like a king. December 1984 saw $20,000 in jewelry for his wives go to Fiji. He has well over $1 million in exotic and Disney art in his possession. He has taken extravagant vacations with organization money. While these excesses are indulged, poverty-stricken devotees with nominal incomes are urged to donate their last penny to JDC.

For an extended period of time, DFJ required all members to be corralled like cattle into a Mission St. center to donate blood plasma twice a week. JDC took the money directly from the center and into its operating budget, i.e. into DFJ's pocket by way of paying for his and his wives' living expenses, etc. Especially as vegetarians, many of these people should not have been donating plasma twice per week for so long, but they were given large doses of iron and other vitamins so they could continue to pass the physical and chemical tests required before plasma was given.

14) In the early years devotees used to give their entire paycheck directly to JDC to receive just a few dollars per month spending money for their own, while DFJ lived a life of extravagance and partied. When asked if he ever felt bad about this, DFJ laughed hysterically and said he couldn't believe the questioner would care about this. This story was repeated as an illustration of how DFJ was "free of conventional morality". I suppose he was. He also said, "Why waste your money on the poor, they'll only spend it on food and shelter."

15) In The Dreaded Gom-Boo, 1983, pp. 335-9, Denise Marrero, a married woman, describes an incident alleged to be a "miracle" in which her back was supernaturally healed by "life force" emanating from DFJ's fingertips. In reality, what transpired was not the idyllic event described in the book, but something entirely different. DFJ had Denise take amyl nitrate when she was already drunk, and proceded to have sex with her from the back side. While doing this he burned her back with a cigarette. When sober, Denise wondered about this, but was told that it was not a cigarette burn but burns due to powerful life force which healed spots in her spine and left marks where DFJ's fingers had touched her.

16) In 1982, after a period in which members (and DFJ, allegedly) were eating raw fruits and vegetables exclusively, DFJ began to eat junk food. He began to get bulimic and eat lots of junk food and then vomit. At some point, he got his wives to do this also. After a period of time, he asked the librarian to see if he could find a tradition for such behavior. Reportedly, there was no such precedent for "spiritual bulimia" to be found, but this information was never let out past DFJ's most intimate circle of devotees.

17) In 1980, DFJ had put himself into a situation where he had serious health problems due to substance abuse. Through overuse of alcohol, as well as various illegal and exotic drugs, DFJ endangered and depleted himself and returned to the mainland-US from Hawaii to seek medical treatment.

WHY DO THESE FACTS OR EVENTS SHOW THAT DFJ IS NOT ENLIGHTENED?

1) Some of the events or points of view represented are inherently and undeniably abusive, regardless of any possible explanation I could accept. I think the average person would agree. They are an exploitation of the trust and vulnerability that devotees were willing to give in relation to DFJ.

2) Some of the events demonstrate ongoing patterns of behavior which cannot reasonably be understood as part of any "teaching" function, but rather show DFJ's personal weaknesses. The behavior cannot plausibly be said to have arisen in relation to a need of a devotee or devotees in general but is clearly an expression of DFJ's own preferences and character. The fact that they were systematically hidden from the community of practicing devotees who supported DFJ financially indicates that DFJ was aware of this potential interpretation, and that he was dishonest. Why hide everything if there's nothing to hide?

3) Some of the events, which involve personal and private indulgences (e.g. his personal abuse of amyl nitrate and privately sneaking junk food) are impossible to interpret as "teaching" activities, since who is being taught? These actions at the same time are incompatible with the concept that DFJ has mastered and transcended all illusions and self-destructive desires, material and spiritual.

Q2. Why do you deny the legitimacy of the Crazy Wisdom tradition and reject DFJ's claim to be part of that tradition?

A. DFJ and-his apologists use the rationalization that his abusive behavior is an example of the "Crazy Wisdom" style of teaching. DFJ claims that "no matter what I may appear to be doing, I am always Teaching... I never do-anything else," and that "what I do is not a reflection of me, but of you. I am always showing you to yourself." This effectively "mythologizes" his actions and everyone else's perceptions of them as well. His behavior is thus exempted from evaluation against any reasonable kind of objective standard, relieving him of any responsibility or accountability for what he does, and putting him "above the law". It is a dangerous point of view.

If behavior cannot be evaluated against an objective standard, our only recourse is to consider its results. Here, DFJ traps us in an insidious kind of circular logic wherein anyone who is upset by DFJ's "Crazy Wisdom" is by definition merely showing signs of the ego, resistance to the spiritual process, and lack of self-transcendence. It is the devotee who is lacking in spiritual maturity and has failed, and DFJ's actions are not at fault because by definition DFJ is only involved in perfect, self-sacrificing service to the devotee.

Most devotees are trapped by this circular logic, which undermines the insights they periodically gain, into the tyranny of DFJ and his oppressive organization. Negative impressions of DFJ of JDC are interpreted as egoic resistance which needs to be surrendered and transcended in order to obtain enlightenment. When people leave DFJ, many are still ensnared by this logic for a long time (or forever) and feel they have failed. Some of us have cut through this illusion, but I know a lot of people who still see themselves as unworthy.

The most common form of abuse perpetrated by DFJ is in the form of psychological manipulation of devotees to expose their weaknesses, at which he is an absolute master. His mastery at this, coupled with the Crazy Wisdom circular logic, is an effective means for establishing and maintaining power and dominance over people.

Since DFJ's abuses of devotees are most commonly psychological in nature, and because they are usually relatively mild when compared to the events cited above, the principle behind DFJ's "teaching" method is perceived as legitimate by those around him. They see the revelation of their psychological weaknesses as a sign that the ego is being "undone". In some instances this is probably true. The extension of this logic to legitimize more egregious abuses becomes easier for some individuals over time, and those who can embrace this rationalization most fully become DFJ's closest disciples (as long as they also serve some useful purpose in his fantasy world).

The tolerance for abuse is seen as a sign of spiritual seriousness and maturity, and it is rewarded through the granting of spiritual "status", such as membership in the "esoteric order" and personal access to the "Spiritual Master". In this way DFJ creates a trustworthy core of individuals who will protect his secrets, indulge his excesses and fantasies, and insulate him from the scrutiny of those whose vision may not be adequately impaired.

Regarding any existing "tradition" for "Crazy Wisdom", I must admit I am not a scholar by any means. However, the examples of Crazy Wisdom used by DFJ's front men are often highly mythologized accounts from ages past which are probably best understood in a symbolic sense, rather than taken literally. The same thing could be said about the story of Job in the Old Testament. There are other, more literal accounts of unconventional methods, which are clearly not abusive in the sense DFJ's are, that could probably be called "Crazy Wisdom".

However, the fact that there may or may not be a "tradition" for something does not make it right. There have been countless abuses and atrocities committed throughout history in the name of various religious and secular causes and traditions which cannot be justified.

Q3. Even if it can be shown that DFJ is less than perfect, does that invalidate his Teachings?

A. If DFJ's "teaching" was simply instructions or advice about how one should approach spiritual practice, there might still be some concern about his lack of qualification to give such advice, but the instructions could still theoretically be valid even if the one giving it was unable to live up to it.

However, the core of DFJ's teaching and summary of its practice is "surrender to the Form and Person and Presence of the Spiritual Master", who will then transform the devotee into a state of "God-Realization" via his unlimited "Siddhi" through which he transmits the Illuminating Force of the Real. If one is relying on this concept, DFJ's own enlightenment, or lack thereof, becomes THE critical issue in evaluating his "teaching" and the value of "spiritual practice" in his community.

Q4. Doesn't DFJ criticize "cultic" attachment to him and worship of him?

A. Although DFJ frequently criticizes cultic approaches to him, in reality and in action he absolutely requires such worship of him. His entire community infrastructure is built around the veneration of him as God Incarnate. People meditate on his picture for hours a day, and he is adorned with flowers and worshipped in person by everyone (when they have earned the right to do so through sufficient donation of time & money, and have abandoned enough independent thinking). DFJ's every word is accepted as absolute Truth. Acts of devotion such as bowing or throwing oneself on the ground when he walks by are encouraged. The purported explanation that all of this is done to worship the God who is revealed through DFJ and is not done to worship DFJ himself is an unrealistic absurdity. Although he has taught at times that "there is only God (i.e. everywhere)", in practice this statement apparently applies more to DFJ personally than the rest of the universe.

Here are some excerpts from DFJ's writings which reflect the actual attitude and belief propagated by DFJ and lived by his devotees in relation to him:

"The Guru is not a human being. The Guru is the Divine Lord in Human Form." (from The Bodily Location of Happiness).

"The God-Realized Spiritual Master is the Principal Revelation of God. The God-Realized Spiritual Master is the Living Truth, the Way of Salvation, the Eternal Master of Man." (from The Great Confession, recited by each devotee daily).

"No one on Earth compares to me .... before this body dies, all mankind will ack-nowledge me.... If I did not come, the Earth would be destroyed." (from "Mark my Words" 12/30/83 in Crazy Wisdom Magazine.)

Obviously, I have a strongly negative opinion regarding DFJ, but you must come to your own conclusions. I have given you only negative information about DFJ because my intention has been to demonstrate to you that he is not an enlightened Spiritual Master. I have not attempted to give a balanced picture of what he is, but rather have tried to show what he is not. In reality, he is a complex person with mixed and varied motivations which have changed over time, but overall he is a very dark influence.

All of us "dissidents" who were closely involved with DFJ have had serious difficulties in finally breaking out of the "mind-control" that kept us believing that DFJ was a perfect Master, even after leaving JDC. It is not an easy task. I wish you the best.

Sincerely,

Mark Miller