PARADIGMS OF THE SOUL: Chapter 1 The Calling -1- There once existed a way of knowing that can be called inner empiricism. Through awareness of the movements and energies within the human microcosm, the great metaphysicians of the past were able to formulate ideas about the macrocosm -- nature in all its universal vastness -- that answered the need of the human mind not only for knowledge, but for meaning. When the contemplative, experiential aspect of metaphysics was lost and forgotten in the modern era, metaphysics degenerated into mere speculation, without roots in the world of hard inner facts. As such, it was deservedly castigated by the principal modern philosophers, such as Hume, Kant, and Wittgenstein. -- Jacob Needleman, Introduction to The Reflexive Universe, by Arthur M. Young, p. xvi. The calling, or life path, is not a paradigm--not a basic structure of the soul. The calling is the "software", the program, which is activated, or "run", through the "hardware"--the paradigms themselves. In a sense, the calling is what gives the individual's paradigm system its purpose, just as the needs of the driver give the automobile its purpose. If an individual needs a very fast car, say a racing car, then such accommodations as spaciousness, good gas mileage, and luxurious interior will be sacrificed, unless the owner has an unlimited budget. Since most individuals do not have an unlimited budget, and this can pertain to soul-level energies, the "basic requirements" are what the structure will accommodate primarily. Secondary requirements, while important, will not receive as much attention or energy as will the structures supporting the primary focus of interest. The individual with mechanical ability can modify the basic specs, but the whole purpose of the race car will not usually be altered. A racing car will not perform the function of a van without a complete, massive overhaul, if at all. The automobile is the hardware for the driver. The paradigms are the hardware for the calling. A calling can be changed somewhat, and the hardware of the paradigms can be changed somewhat, under special conditions. This will be discussed later in this book. But if one is driving a race car through life, and thinks that he or she is driving a truck, or vice versa, there can be a lot of strain on the equipment, and a lot of frustration for the driver. So it is with the calling (the purpose of the driver), and the paradigms (the vehicle itself). For an individual to understand the purpose of the driver, that is, the "Higher Self", calling, or daemon, one must be able to access in the egoic awareness, to a certain degree, the essence of the individual calling. It is through understanding the calling, even a little bit, that one can integrate (egoically) communication from the daemon, can start to intuit directions, can include this communication with egoic, circumstantial choices. How are the individual ego and the daemon different? The ego is a sub- structure of the daemon, an imbedded program within a larger program. Here is where the question of expanded awareness comes into play. Since the ego is part of the superstructure of the daemon, but only a subsumed part, it takes an expanded awareness on the part of the individual to not mistake the ego for the entire program. The individual has developed his or her ego as a limiting factor for the entire -2- program, so that the greater structure can accommodate specific functions, in varied life circumstances. The ego carries on day-to-day decision making, and makes situation-appropriate responses to the environment. This is an extremely important task. Without the ego the daemon would have no direct communicative ability in the physical life of the individual. The ego is, in the ideal case, the daemon's trusted and expert business partner. The ego handles the daily decisions, while the daemon scopes out the master plan. Trouble happens if the partners disagree too much--they can a little bit, and this is OK, as long as the security of the entire company is not jeopardized. The trick is, the daemon and the ego are both us. When major conflicts between daemon and ego repeatedly occur, over a long period of time, the health of the entire self starts to feel the effects. From only an egoic standpoint we may not realize what is wrong. Psychotherapy, in its most effective forms, that is, including the ego- daemon relationship for consideration, may help rather well in this situation. Conscious and unconscious purposes, desires, and motivations are revealed, juxtaposed, integrated, and nurtured. However, clinical psychiatry, where in many cases only chemical solutions are pursued, is a stopgap solution for most people. The temporary solution for the ego is to "numb" the communicative network between itself and the daemon. While this may be necessary in extreme cases, it is not a route to the kind of psychological health which will bring the basic problems to light, so that transformation can more readily occur for the betterment of the entire self. Remember, the daemon and the ego are both part-and-parcel of the entire self. They are partners in an interdependent-hierarchical framework. One cannot be abstracted from the other without the possibility of annihilation of the entire psychology of the individual. One cannot "fire" one's ego, at least not without very significant help from intensive and prolonged Spiritual work. It is much better to be able to relinquish the authority of the ego at the appropriate time, and let the "boss" (deamon) enter and do his/her work, when the situation calls for it. In the best case, the daemon and the ego arrive at a mutually compatible plan of action, one which includes the necessities of both. The ego knows, at least in a general way, what the daemon wants, and tries to act, at least most of the time, within that general purpose. Also, the daemon must know and accept the authority of the ego in certain situations. The ego is a specialist, and if it is not allowed to do what it has been "hired" to do, including inconveniencing the daemon at certain times, then great psychological and/or neurological strain can result. Nervous breakdowns can occur when the daemon pushes too hard, is impatient, or has not, through lack of clear communication with the ego, understood and accepted the necessity of timing concerning the situation-specific demands that are put on the ego. The daemon is the embodiment, at the psychological level, of the calling. It is the inner advisor, the visionary, the messenger of higher purpose. It is not the entirety of the calling itself, which comes from an even greater part of the self--from higher thinking and intuition. In some religious traditions the daemon has been termed the "guardian -3- angel". In mystical tradition it is sometimes called the "guide". From a causally based consciousness it is seen as not a part of, or apart from the Self. It is incorporated in all levels of awareness. The ego is the embodiment of our living past, present, and projected future. Although it is impossible to see the ego directly, we can see its manifestations in our decision making (will), in our thinking, and in our emotional life. We call this ego "me". But when we say "I" we are actually referring to the ego, the daemon, and we are including even greater areas of the Self, all the way up and down, either consciously or unconsciously. If we don't have conscious awareness of all of these dimensions of self that is fine, the communication/integration through all levels occurs on an unconscious level, without our egoic consciousness as participant. This is the case where the manager never actually meets the boss, but only reads the briefs, and continues with the work anyway. The actual facility which contains the psychology, including the daemon, the ego, and related psychological phenomena, is the paradigm system. It has been constructed specifically for the work which is to be carried out by the ego-daemon partnership. It is custom-made to the specifications of the daemon, who knows what work is to be done. It is not required that the ego be familiar with the entire facility, but it is certainly better for all concerned if the ego is familiar with it. The ego can then find, more readily, the proper space from which to instigate, and facilitate the activity of the entire self. In fact, this is part of the ego's job, to coordinate the entire psychology for effective action. The ego has been trained and hired to be the manager. When the manager oversteps his/her authority, repeatedly, and in the wrong circumstances, trouble occurs. If the ego has little or no awareness concerning the long-term plan of the organization, then the management often goes awry. Momentary desires are confused with important decisions, and the organization is often, over time, led astray from the original plan. Making a quick profit often replaces overall health and growth within the organization. The egoic desire-decision process strays further and further from its connective processes with the daemon. We lose sight of our goals. How can the manager (ego) and the daemon (calling) communicate with each other? This is getting to the issue of how to develop a fine organization. Meditation is a possible way to develop the channels of communication, re- tool and refine them, between the awareness of the ego and the forces and indications of the life calling (daemon). This is the process of adding awareness to the system-as-a-whole. Here the manager has time to explore the entire facility, check out the equipment, and get to know undiscovered rooms. New additions to the facility can be considered. Also, by way of meditation, the manager can get to know the individual employees and their particular talents and weaknesses. Talents can be called upon and developed, weaknesses can be addressed and either transformed or compensated for. There is a whole world of potential and discovery which unfolds in a natural way when the manager really gets to know the employees. There are sub-managers to meet and work with. The manager can start to delegate authority, set up ongoing projects, and make long-range plans. He can ask the -4- boss's advice concerning appropriate delegation, individual problems, and "the big picture". Another way to upgrade the channels of communication between ego and daemon is by way of reflecting on the autobiography. To what areas of endeavor or thought has the ego been drawn throughout the life. Are there any discernible patterns here? Where does my life keep trying to steer me, both inwardly and outwardly? Am I eschewing the obvious, merely because it is obvious, and therefore not worthy of contemplation? Writing one's autobiography can be of immense help, a clarifying process. Also, a trusted professional counselor can be of value in this situation. Choose a counselor with an interest in life paths and callings. Another path to better ego-daemon communication is through reading and the arts. What ideas am I attracted to? What artists? Why do I choose these subjects, what are they telling me? Physical involvement and development can also help me a great deal. I hesitate to use the word "exercise" in this particular context, because exercise in the abstract can be, not always, but can be a way to avoid contact with the daemon. Some feel that if they have "burning questions" that they need to work out the "burn". This is an attempt to destroy communication, and alleviate symptoms, without getting to the heart of the problem. But physical work, such as really getting into a sport, Tai chi, or working in the garden, can be invaluable to develop a better understanding of the Self. Going for a hike is one of my favorites! There are numerous other ways to become closer, in egoic awareness, to the daemon. Remember, the daemon and the ego are us. But engaging in development of awareness will also help us to understand others with more depth. We can consider their daemons and egos too. Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you. -- Matthew (7:6) One needs to know where and when to explore the life calling directly, with the egoic awareness. Although it is continually with us, it is not always accounted for in our egoic focus. We need to understand, at least somewhat, what our ego is about before we can approach the life calling (daemon) directly in consciousness, otherwise it may elude us. The daemon may elude us if we approach its domain with anger, resentment, irritation, or deprecation. In a way, our ego can, in its most unpleasant aspects, be the "dogs" and the "swine" spoken of above. The ego must be willing to put aside, at least for a moment, the terror of obsessive desire and fixation in order to allow the work of the daemon. I am not saying that we have to go through some sort of cataclysmic transformation of ego, although this sometimes happens during our lives, but that we need to develop a mental-emotional space of sincerity, truthfulness, and trust as a starting point for communication with our deeper selves. Also, when we are discussing such matters with others we need to be a bit cautious. Caustic remarks, sarcasm, and impatience can pull up a seedling intuition by the roots. It takes a gentle, persistent, and loving hand to nurture our egoic relationship -5- with the daemon. Otherwise, it can manifest itself in its dark side, and associate itself, if that is its only venue of expression, with our deep-rooted fears and hatreds. Hitler had a daemon, a very powerful one, which was able to call upon and activate the dark side of the frustrated daemons around him. Horrific power can be generated from such combinations, and the forces of nihilism, hegemony, and dark will can amass to critical levels, affecting all around on very deep levels. Even if the telos of such momentum is defined as the "betterment of all", these are only words used to obscure evil purposes. The effect that Hitler's ego combined with daemonic power generated is an example of the kind of ability that is inherent in effective ego-daemon relationship. In this case, the daemon has manifested in its pathos, and has become a "demon". It is best to be prudent when discussing our deeper selves with others. The context of mutual interest, art, or philosophy is a good place to start. If others are coming up with too many pat answers, judgments, and jokes, it is probably better to "lay low" for awhile, without abandoning the topic altogether. The "beware of dog" sign is posted. However, even the momentary recognition that another may have a calling can start the ball rolling. Sometimes just this acknowledgment can be enough for a start. An example of this might be: I enter the home of someone I don't know very well. I see that they have an extensive music collection, most of which does not suit my taste. However, I decide to explore who they are by way of the music that they love. "I don't know very much about Garth Brooks (offering them a bit about me first), but I do like other kinds of music. What is it about Garth Brooks that you like?". Now I must have patience if I am really sincere about discovering who this other person is. One response may be "He tells me more about the way I feel". There is a lot of room for discussion here. Another response might be, "Oh yeah? You don't know about Garth Brooks! Where have you been?" Answer-- "Beethoven". "Oh yeah, well that kind of music sucks!" There is a possibility that we have entered an area which is hostile to our daemon, and, depending on our own security in the area of calling, we can choose to continue or abandon the conversation from this point. Share the "pearls" with those who value them. We need to know the daemonic realm, its flavor and requirements, its abilities and limits, from the standpoint of the ego. If we are unfamiliar with it we need to proceed with patience, both with ourselves and with others. This is not an area which is under our egoic control, nor should it be. In fact, it cannot be. However, our ego does have a right to input, and respect for its domain. What are some examples of callings? Again there are as many callings as there are individuals. But let's choose a hypothetical example, and follow it through a lifetime. The calling for this individual can be described in these words -- To avail the self of contemporary language structures and technology in order to further the eternal cause of compassion, justice, and understanding. OK--seems a bit cryptic to the reader upon initial exposure -- the language of the daemon is not always easy to interpret -- but let's look the life of this individual for further explanation. -6- She was born with this soul-level-paradigm system: Fourth level, seventh sub-level priest, in the passion mode, goal of growth, attitude of skepticism, centered in the action part of the emotions, with a chief obstacle of martyrdom. This is the basic soul-level structure, or personal paradigm, for this woman. A deep explanation of what this all means will be explored in following chapters. But we can have a brief run-through here. She was born into the fourth soul level. This is the level of assimilation, understanding, and integration. This level has a certain "psychological" flavor to it. She is at the seventh sub-level which is the final evolution of the fourth level -- mastery of understanding. She is a priest. This means that her entire paradigm has to do with the Order of the Cosmos, or Divine Order. She is looking for her place in the grand scheme of things, and also looking for ways for others to find theirs. She is in the passion mode. This means that she approaches her goal most easily when she is passionate about it, when she feels fully engaged from her entire self. Abstractions are a challenge. Her goal is growth. This means that she will feel frustrated in a stagnant or repressive situation. She wants expansion, inclusion, and evolution of herself and her life circumstance. Her attitude is skeptical. She needs proof, verification, concrete examples, and precedent in order to feel comfortable with her world. She challenges assumptions reflexively. She is centered in the action part of her emotions. It is from here that the ego is developed. She receives impressions primarily through her emotions, and responds by trying to do something about the impressions she has received. Her chief obstacle is martyrdom. She automatically assumes responsibility for great causes, to the point where her ego can collapse from overburden, and she falls into self-destructive (from an egoic standpoint) tendencies. This woman was born into an upper middle-class family, living on the East Coast of the United States. She had a stuttering problem as a child. She was always trying to say more than she was able to put into words, which was a frustration and embarrassment to her ego. Her father belittled her for this, all playing into her chief obstacle of martyrdom. She was intellectually precocious, pretty, and displayed a loving heart as a child. School work was quite easy for her. She was somewhat shy, partly due to the fact that her family moved so many times while she was young, and her friendships were often short-lived. It was difficult to make friends after the third move. She attended Duke University, and graduated Magna Cum Laude. She then left the East Coast (too conventional) and attended the University of California at Berkeley, where she received a Master's Degree in Communications. She won two writing awards while working as a reporter at a California newspaper. These would best be described as "human interest" stories. She is now a reporter at a large Metropolitan newspaper. When we look at this woman's paradigm system we can see how it supported the calling in the unfolding of her life. The fourth level supports study(academic excellence), -7- assimilation (reporting), and integration (talent for writing). The seventh sub-level is the point of mastery for these abilities (award winner). Her goal of growth was displayed by her willingness to leave her seemingly constricting social melieu in the East, and push on to the freer atmosphere of California. She involved herself in several spiritual paths during her twenties (priest), including taking classes, and practicing meditation. Although she is not a member of the clergy, or a professional counselor, friends seek her advice and her priestly reassurances. Her attitude of skeptic is an aid as a reporter. She has a reputation for being able to enter deeply into an issue. She questions all answers. The egoic centering in the action part of the emotions activates her calling in an empathic way. People tend to connect with her quite willingly on an emotional level. She has found her role in the Cosmic Order (priest), even though she would rather be a full-time feature writer than a reporter. She tries to help others find and follow their life calling. This woman was able to find and develop a life situation which supports and clarifies her calling, in conjunction with her individual paradigm system. She did, consciously or unconsciously, follow her path quite well. She is what modern society deems a "success", even though she was faced with immense challenges, at times. Of course, the scenario could have turned out quite differently if the process of actualizing the calling had been frustrated too many times along the way. Her daemon could have then become a demon, and without great spiritual work, she could have then lost her way and spiraled into martyrdom. When the demon and the chief obstacle are engaged over a long period of time, tragedy almost always ensues. But let's get into that aspect of possibility with another scenario. The life calling of this man can be described, approximately, as such: The expression of the masculine as a means for integration of dominance in the area of artistic expression. We can see that this daemon has different requirements from the daemon described previously. Let's take a look at his paradigm system. He is a third level sage, third sub-level, in the caution mode, with a goal of dominance. His attitude is cynic, with centering (of the ego) in the emotional part of the action (will) center, with a chief obstacle of impatience. This man spent most of his youth in a prestigious military school, again, on the East Coast of the United States. He was seen as bright, but an irrepressible non-conformist. He had major problems with authority figures. Although he did not have the build to pursue sports in a competitive way himself, he followed sports activities with relish. He loved pep rallies and the band music. The sense of competition, combined with the music was "heaven" for him. He tried out for drum major, and even though he did not know much about music, his drive and will to leadership eventually won him the position. He attended a prestigious college, and graduated, barely. His impatience with authority figures continued to plague him. Why should he study just because others told him to? He just wanted the B.A., then out. -8- He became a free-lance trouble shooter for different companies. The connections which he had made in military school were of use in this. He became rich. When he reached his mid forties something "happened". He divorced his wife and married again, quickly. His job started to irritate him more and more. Finally, a trusted coworker betrayed him and others in a "get rich quick" scheme -- the associate was jailed. This sent his life into turmoil. He decided that he wanted to be a writer. He knew that he had a quick wit, and that he had displayed talent for personal expression in his youth. His stories tended to be about great men and their will to leadership. After years of penury one of his novels finally sold to an obscure publisher, and, little by little he was able to make inroads in the world of writing. But he never was satisfied with his financial situation. He became a publisher, and the money started to return. His hedonistic life style took on massive proportions. He died in his mid 60's, partly as a result of incessant alcohol abuse. Here, we can again see how the paradigm system and the daemon are "made for each other". This man was a sage. Here personal authority and expression were very important to him. He was sent to military school because his parents could not deal with his strong personality. In military school his rebellion was heightened by his will to dominance (goal), his lack of respect for those in authority (cynic), and his impatience. He was at the third level (competitive), at the third sub-level (warrior-like), which gave his life a very macho flavor. The trouble started when he was finding no artistic outlet. The daemon turned to demon when his efforts at writing were not up to his personal expectations, and when his pent-up frustrations concerning his ability to exercise his hedonism were set loose. When he abandoned his writing, and found no other artistic outlet, the ego and the daemon were in direct conflict. He tried to assuage the pain with alcohol, and continued to do so as the pain increased. At this point tragedy was almost inevitable. His personal demon led him down the path of self- destruction. At this point in the discussion the reader may see these biographies as fitting together in a rather facile manner. The combination of life calling and paradigm system may seem a little too clear, a bit too smooth a fit to seem credible. I had the same reaction upon first exposure to the paradigm system. But let's look at it this way. Is it hard to believe that a person has green eyes based on genetic information? This must have seemed "far out" to those who first heard of it. Over time, and with repeated empirical evidence which was verified both from experience and observation, combined with improvement in scientific tools used for previously impossible measurement techniques, the idea became accepted. I believe that more study and experience with this system will confirm its validity. This has been a study of mine for over fifteen years. My suggestion is that, once the system has been explained fully, the reader do his or her own observation to validate or invalidate the data. I have been doing this continually during the interim. This is not to say that the paradigm system applies to everything. I am talking about something very specific here -- one's predispositions, on the level of the psyche. There are all sorts of ways that one can overcome predispositions, but it takes a deep -9- self-knowledge and a refined will to do so--it is certainly not impossible. But talking about predispositons should not be eschewed simply because, on a certain level, they are easy to see, with the right focus. In psychology, no man knows very much. The inner forces of human life are still largely hidden from us. -- A.S. Neil, from Summerhill School: A New View of Childhood, p. 5 When the apple hit Newton on the head, he didn't study the apple to find the cause. In psychological endeavors we tend to look at the thought, emotion, subconscious entity, or whatever has been plaguing us to find the "answer" for our questions. We are still studying the apple. The subject of "metacauses" is usually relegated to the realm of metaphysical conjecture. Newton, Kepler, and others were willing to take up the challenge of deeper causes on the level of physical law. The paradigm system, in conjunction with the life calling, is the area of metacauses on the psychological level. People are starting to tire from the effort to find answers to psychological phenomena in the realm of the specifically manifest phenomena. Some turn to religious practice to find answers, and under certain conditions this can be helpful. Deeper states of awareness than only the level of concrete psychological observation can start to unfold in the individual's consciousness through spiritual contemplation, paths of devotion, meditation, etc. We start to look beyond the "apple". How can we see the daemon as "metacause" in the realm of psychology? This subject will be covered extensively in following chapters. But I would encourage the reader to not be too hasty with labels such as "New Age", metaphysics, or parapsychology. These preconceived ideational packages do not apply here. This search for deeper truths to the psychology of human beings has been an ongoing one in systems of religion and philosophy for centuries. Rather than a "New Age" search, I see it as a perennial one. This study calls upon questions raised in the works of the ancients, as well as the work of modern psychologists and philosophers. The answers, at least up to this point, lie in discoveries which are a synthesis of past knowledge and observation, combined with recently discovered insights. Plato was talking about the daemon centuries ago. People still look for their "purpose". There is nothing surprising about the question arising time and again over the ages. What is surprising is some people's willingness to discount its importance, and to not pursue answers with vigor. I can see someone (perhaps a cynic) sitting with Newton under the apple tree, saying, "Give it up. You're never going to find an answer to that one!" The image used as a tool for explanation, the daemon, is not to be confused with some mythic creature somehow abiding in our unconscious, lurking in some magical realm. This image is a metaphor for processes which are ongoing, and which have a focus in the entire life, as a whole. The daemon cannot be abstracted, in itself, from the entire human being in all of his or her life processes. This would be like trying to remove the message from Hamlet. We can describe the message of Hamlet through the use of concepts. This is the same process of description that I am using here concerning the daemon. Hamlet is the -10- vehicle for the message. The daemon is the vehicle for the life calling. The message and the vehicle are in a correspondent, organic relationship. In order to perceive the daemon one must look to the entire life. Can we develop the awareness to do this? I believe that it is within our power. But we must know how to reflect, synthesize, intuit, and study objective "facts". We must be historians, scientists, artists, and philosophers, all together, as one act. If we leave some of these processes out, the daemon can elude our awareness. It is not quantified by any one of these means. Its expression is found in every aspect of our lives. The question may arise, "How is it that the daemon can become a demon in our lives?" The answer has to do with two entities of the psychology which have a very important impact on the quality of the daemon-demon. The first (and I am using a vocabulary which is as yet in its infancy) is the quality of transcendence-phobia. The second could be termed agape-nihilism. These qualities have been referred to in the works of Ken Wilber, and others. The will to transcendence in an individual's life can be seen in a myriad of ways. One way is thorough prayer, or meditation. "Higher states" are experienced, states outside of what we would term normal daily awareness. Here the ego sees that there are more things in life than can be contained in any philosophy, individual opinion, or any seemingly isolated experience. The egoic awareness is "lifted up", brought into blissful states, and sometimes even abandoned in those states. Certain types of artistic vehicles, such as poetry, or music, can give one a sense of transcendence. The thrill of great talent exhibited in sports can also lift one up. The daemon is "angelic", here. The transcendent experience turns to phobia when those who are not part of the select group of transcenders become the "enemy". Others are classified as "sinners", inferior, or dangerous. Those who are not part of the in-crowd are persecuted, scandalized, and sometimes annihilated. Transcendent experience decays into dogma, hegemony, and atrocity. The daemon becomes a demon. The whole (healthy) daemon walks the middle path between these two extremes. A healthy daemon is able to integrate and balance impressions from both poles, without falling into a zealous passion concerning either. Things are seen "as they are", and affirmative action is taken from a position of balance and freedom. If the daemon adopts only the path of either extreme it becomes a weak and pale imitation of the "divine", or a bigoted hate monger. Holy wars are started from the demon-to-demon interplay among individuals, and untempered passion is loosed. The true calling is usurped for the sake of the cause, and the self becomes merely a cog in the righteous machine of burning obsessions. The other "trap" for the daemon is the agape-nihilistic polarity. The quality of agape is not a transcendent one, but rather a quality of kindness and compassion in the immanent world. Charity and good works replace the transcendent experience, and "God" is seen as "in the world". Great good deeds are exhibited by those on this path, acts of self-sacrifice and forbearance. Brotherhood/sisterhood is fostered, and the attitude that we are all in this life together, for better or for worse, is nurtured. The daemon is seen as "kind mentor". -11- The polar opposite of agape is nihilism. Life is seen as worthless and depressing. Anything of beauty is either something to dominate and consume, or destroy. Life itself is offensive, and something to be abused as much as possible. Sadism and cruelty in all of its forms are admired for their power. Criminal acts are excused by such statements as, "Well, he deserved it, he was so stupid." Brutality reigns. The demon leads one into a life of hedonism, and self destruction. Again, the healthy daemon is able to take the middle path. Neither does it deny the "reality" of either extreme, nor does it sacrifice itself in the flames of either. It exercises its freedom to choose, and makes choices according to its own level of wisdom and compassion. If it is time to defend the life of the self, it will do so. If it is time to relinquish that life, it will also do that. So, transcendence, phobia, agape, and nihilism are all within the awareness of the healthy daemon. F. Scott Peck, MD, said in his book, The Road Less Traveled, that it was not so amazing to him that we get sick from time to time, but that we can stay healthy when the body contains the bacteria and viruses of countless diseases. It is something like that with the daemon. The interplay and balance of light and dark forces is the very "life chemistry" of its being. This is not a plug for neutrality. Some choices are obviously better for all concerned than others. But the daemon must have the freedom to choose. Without this freedom its health is in peril. One of the best ways to eradicate the effectiveness of the daemon is to remove all of its options. Incarceration, servitude, dogmatism, and self deprecation are its worst enemies. Giving in to one's chief obstacle also renders the daemon helpless. A healthy daemon can make choices, a demon cannot. The demon's path is fate. The daemon's path is destiny. Why can we not "see" this calling, or daemon, directly? I follow this question with a question. Why can we not see a thought "directly"? A thought cannot be seen in its essence as an object. Try it. We only see thoughts in terms of their manifest context. They are of a realm of activity which is not "sensual" (see Rudolf Steiner's The Philosophy of Freedom), or positivistic. Steiner describes the thought as "existing" in a realm that he describes as "pure activity". There are no "objects" to be "seen" with our senses at this level of awareness. However, this realm does exist. Thoughts emerge from it and manifest themselves as ideas, and concepts, which can be seen by the eye of the mind, and can be expressed on the physical level consequentially. We can have thoughts which seem to emerge from nowhere. That is because the term "where" only pertains to the manifested message of thought, not to a thought in itself, which is not within the confines of the concept "where". How does this apply to the daemon? The concept of daemon is a contained one. But the function "daemon" in itself has its source in a non-objectified realm, a realm of the "pure activity" of our lives. Therefore, the daemon is perceived by way of its manifestation in our lives, by the activities and history that we can conceive of. So to see the daemon as some sort of object is a vain effort. It can communicate to us by way of concepts, and by way of the autobiography. It is not someone to talk to -12 directly. There is no "directly", in our human understanding of the meaning of the word, which can contain its essential nature. The daemon, in itself, is at a level of potential which is "inconceivable". Only its results are conceived. Let's have a analogy here which may help to clarify this relationship. I want to learn the piano. The question of calling concerning this has not entered my mind as a clear concept, but there seems to be some deep urging in myself to do this. My life seems to be so full. I cannot conceive of a time when I will be able to practice to a level of egoic satisfaction. But, somehow, I start to find myself at the piano for a few moments during the day. It seems like nothing at first, put as time passes I find a little more time for practice, and I start to learn something about my abilities in this area, and what it means to practice, and how valuable this time is to me. The daemon is emerging on a level of perception. Life is shifting just a little bit. Practice is more fun, and I am beginning to explore the depths of my relationship to music. I really want to play a few simple pieces well, while I continue to develop technique. I start to play the simple pieces in a freer way than I could ever have imagined. The daemon is talking to me by way of concepts, art, and action. So, do you see? This is all not so "mystical", or abstract. The daemon's "existence" is not in a direct frame of reference, but its work can be "seen". Its source is only intuited. Another example: when I am on a hike out in nature, I start with a destination in mind, a time limitation, plans for lunch, etc.. I start out with no clear sense of purpose, I just want to hike. As time passes I notice that my mind is wandering. I am thinking about obligations in the city, and am not noticing my surroundings. I am walking fast to get to my destination. A pretty spot to sit catches my eye. I sit down and unload my pack from my shoulders. A sip of tea would be nice. I have some tea and feel better. Then I start to look around. My God, the beauty that is here! The richness, color, smell, sounds, and texture of the place fill my senses. My thoughts of the city are gone! I cannot believe what I am seeing and feeling. My emotions come to the fore and join with the place. I can feel it. There is both great joy and great sadness at the same moment. I notice a single tear dripping down my face. I don't question it, just watch. My thinking starts to harmonize with the moment. I intuit the relationships of sun, water, living things surrounding me, and myself in this moment. There is a terrific peace underlying all of the activity. I feel blessed, thankful, and sometimes a little forlorn. The total impression fills me. I add my own thoughts and feelings to all that is going on -- I reflect. I might even sing a song that I have never heard before. Then, I hear the call of my destination. I see the cliffs ahead of me, and I am inspired to pack up and go on. But the feeling of the moment in the pretty spot doesn't entirely leave me. I have heard its message, and carry it with me as I explore. On my return to the car, and the drive home, I feel changed a bit. I don't feel so desperate about life. I am a little clearer about "what it's all about" and "who I am". The daemon and my ego shared some recreation together, consciously or unconsciously, and I am thankful for it, in my bones! -13- Understanding of the calling can emerge in almost any context. It is up to the ego to aid in providing the context. I decided to play the piano, I decided to go on a hike. What actually took place was not egoically controlled. The ego is a participant within a greater framework. It does not create or control the framework. It makes specific choices within contexts. The egoic choices are either rewarded or not rewarded by the unfolding of circumstance. The ego does not control the rewards, just notices when they are present or not, over time. Time is not the daemon's concern, but rather timeless experience is its realm. ....One evening, at the end of the work day, a brilliant young chemist whom I didn't know well walked with me to the train station. We strolled along the tracks and talked about a variety of things. I told him about my seminary training and the new secularism I was enjoying. He stopped and looked at me closely. "You are always going to do the work of a priest," he said in a strange prophetic tone. "But I was never actually a priest," I explained. "No matter," he said. "you will always do the work of a priest." I didn't know what he was getting at. He was a modern, no-nonsense scientist, yet he was talking like a psychic. "I don't understand," I said, standing on the tracks. "I've given up on the idea of priesthood. I don't feel any ambivalence. I'm glad to be starting a new life in a new world." "Don't forget what I'm saying today," he said, and then he changed the subject. I didn't forget. -- Thomas Moore, from Care of the Soul, p. 213. Daemon-to-daemon contact stays with us. The state of anamnesis, vivid recall, can bring us into awareness of the depth of such moments. It is as if we can remember a quality in such situations which is so unusual, in the midst of ordinary circumstances, that it can shine through at the most surprising times. The remembered experience seems to be immediate, timeless, and earth- shaking. The moment may not seem out-of-the-ordinary to someone who is not directly involved. "Lucky guess", the skeptic might say. But if these kinds of occurrences happen "enough" to a person, a hidden pattern starts to unfold. If this autobiographical snippet had been completely isolated from how Moore saw his life playing out, then he would probably not have remembered the moment. It would have been seen as merely a glib comment about his abilities as a chemist. However, it was not a glib comment. For those readers who are familiar with the work of Thomas Moore, it was quite an astounding comment, especially from someone who did not know Moore in any great depth. We get messages all the time concerning our calling. Most of these are masked in what Moshe Feldenkrais refers to as the "elusive obvious". The messages may come by way of a conversation, through paths of interest, or even through the quality of our attention at a given moment. -14- A clue to when a message is coming through is contained in the quality of our attention at a given moment. Time often seems to stand still during these messages. We often find ourselves in a state of momentary confusion, disarray, or even embarrassment. The "obvious" starts to take on a different flavor. It is not boring. Seemingly inconsequential detail starts to become fascinating. After noting this qualitative anomaly, time after time, we start to pick up on the thread of communication running through many seemingly isolated moments. The vision of our destiny starts to become real, alive, in constant process. The sense of destiny is no longer merely an idea, it is a part of us, and we can consciously acknowledge it. Those who are in touch with their destiny are "different people". Their lives seem to more easily include all of the normal frustrations and joys in one gesture. They often have attention and interest in things which others discount. They tend to recognize quality and beauty in moments which others often miss. They have a certain amount of peace about things which others fret about, not because they are beyond worry, but because they see worry as a process which evokes changes which might be needed. They are not so willing to write off seeming coincidences as immaterial--the coincidence itself is seen in a larger framework, a larger perspective. Their egos tend to have an uncanny quality, sometimes seeming highly inflated, at other times almost non-existent. They can often assume an aperspectival stance, where any perspective can be entertained and weighed in their awareness, but they often have a personal sense of morality which defies injustice, and lack of compassion -- this can even present itself with a fiery quality, sometimes construed by others as temper or impatience. They tend to value gentleness and patience, and are usually (not always) quick to forgive a wrong which is suffered. They have a way with children, animals, old people, and those who are suffering. They welcome daemon-to-daemon contact, and encourage it in the right situations, which they have come to recognize. Do you recognize the person described above? When have you met them? Have you given them your time? Have they given you theirs? Have they made a mark upon your life? Are you now, or are you becoming, one of them? Are you part of a brotherhood/sisterhood that is trying to carry on the effort to value the life calling of the individual, and to carry on the tradition of doing so? If you are, then this book is "right up your alley". It is written for you.